I’m someone who has a big problem when it comes to communication.
Reason? It demands too much of my energy and I find it more convenient to ignore the situation without confrontation.
I’m writing this post because the more I pass out on the opportunities to solve a problem by communication, I see how the outcome is even worse. Even if confrontations exhaust your energy and destabilize your emotions, these early interventions can really be good for you in the long run.
You may think that by being patient and persuading yourself to be forgiving is the best way to approach these situations. It sounds much more mature and selfless. How wrong was I! You and I are no saints. Patience is not always the right answer. In fact, I believe that early intervention through prompt conversation is the best way to prevent further conflicts in any relationships.
I always thought losing was winning; patience was a virtue; I was acting mature by suppressing my emotions. No. No. NO.
As I have said before. You are no saint. You are not even good enough to be able to forgive someone. Don’t overestimate yourself. You and I are mere human beings full of angst, flaws, fragilities, and selfishness.
Patience is a good virtue don’t get me wrong. But there is an alternative that you should try.
Here’s my main point: you need to communicate early on. If you have something that annoys you, speak it! Communicate! Explain how this makes you unhappy and that you want to find a solution! The reason you should be doing this is to prevent conflicts early on. To protect yourself.
Since I’m a medical student, I’d like to use the following analogy. Just like preventing cardiovascular diseases by dieting, exercising, eating health EARLY on, it’s important to prevent relationship problems early on. If you don’t, and if you fool yourself by thinking it’ll be ok, then one day you’ll see the full symptoms of the ignorance and patience that has deceived you. In the case of cardiovascular diseases, that would be a heart attack, a myocardial infarction, when suddenly one of your coronary arteries get blocked off completely and it can’t supply your heart with blood anymore. Without prompt intervention your heart tissue dies and it could also lead to your death.
Do this for your own sake. Patience and ignorance is not good for you in the long run. These small convenient habits of avoiding conversations are toxic and will bring bad results.
I say again. For your own good and for your own sake. For you own rights, for your well-being, please communicate the problems that trouble you and seek a resolution for these problems with your peers.
If you think this approach is too selfish, here is a word of advice my mom usually told me: “If you can’t take care of yourself. How can you take care of others?” If you really want to be selfless and altruistic human being, you need to make sure you take care of yourself first. After all, what use is a doctor who can’t even take care of his/her own health. Before you go out and try to help out people, first reflect on your own status check if you need any help. Such humility is the first step before we can declare that we are ready to help others.
My point: communicat