3 weeks into school, and I still don't feel like studying.
I've been struggling to come up with a legit explanation for this, and I think it's simply because I am fed up getting low scores despite my exhausting efforts. I've lost confidence and joy in studying. Studying for scores that doesn't bring me satisfaction repels me from wanting to study. Fear of failing my classes makes me even more disgusted...
I've been praying a lot and today I decided to call up a friend and try to seek some advice. He was someone with good grades and someone who worked tirelessly. I've asked if he had experienced such struggles similar to mine.
Quite surprisingly, he had. Of course his standards were quite higher than mine, but still he went through grueling times and told me he tried to ignore his mood and still go at it.
I was glad that I was not alone in this journey and that even A students go through failures and suffering somehow gave me an encouragement.
Here's the conclusion I got out from the conversation:
Everyone has to go through challenges in life. The challenges will never stop, and these tests are valuable moments that can mold us into more capable beings. Sure, these overwhelming times could occasionally break us into little pieces, but there are second chances, and a chance to learn from these failures. We should not focus on the immediate result that is in front of us, but our focus should be in the process of being reshaped. We may be uncertain, incapable, feel hopeless, and tired. However, when we don't lose hope in the process of maturation, learning, and discipline, we may actually start to live a productive life and act upon our tasks, instead of being completely stagnant.